Hope and acceptance

Watching my son struggle against cancer for the past six years has been extremely difficult. As a parent, you do everything in your power to shield your children from harm. When all you can do is watch helplessly as your child suffers, it eats away at your psyche like a virus. As a person of faith, you pray with every fiber of your being for a miracle. You enlist others to join your prayers. Yet when the miracle does not come, doubts creep in.

Last night, we played host to my nephews. We sat around eating unhealthy snacks, playing board games, and engaged in pop culture commentary. The later consists of tuning into New Years' Eve coverage from Times Square with the sound muted. When some icon appears on the screen, we take turns putting words in their mouth. By the time the ball dropped, we had our share of laughter, occasionally even the side-splitting variety.

Somewhere during the festivities, I got a smartphone notification that my son had just posted something on the social media site for cancer patients to update family, friends, and support group members abreast of news and views. Unlike Facebook, you can keep it real, so to speak.

Much to the chagrin of our teenage guests, my wife and I suddenly checked out mentally and clicked the link to read his post. It cuts to the heart of trying to psychologically adjust to suffering.

The biggest challenge has been that I was simply unprepared. Once I was diagnosed and on a stable treatment, it was easy to say that I understood my disease and limitations. I became comfortable operating within the parameters my illness set. 

Yet when everything abruptly changed, I was not prepared. I was unprepared for the frustration and helplessness of repeated hospital stays. I was unprepared for the brutal nausea that left me sleeping on the cold bathroom floor as much as anywhere else. I was unprepared for the terrifying ER visits where my severe electrolyte imbalance caused a dangerous (and if not treated, potentially fatal) issue with my heart. 

I was unprepared for the incident that happened in Key West, one minute I’m fine and the next, I’m my own version of a babbling looney toon. And more than any of that, I was unprepared for phone calls this week from my neurologist after I’ve had some lingering memory, confusion, and word difficulties from said incident. Looks as if my complicated medical history made the initial diagnosis a bit difficult but it appears that the lovely incident was caused by a roving blood clot (small stroke). I have to go in for a battery of scans and other tests to be sure that there are no remnants from a clot and then add some meds to be sure it doesn’t happen again. What’s frustrating is that I knew this was a distinct possibility. 

As I read it, I could not help but think how I unprepared I was for the cancer nightmare that began shortly after his 18th birthday. When the initial shock wears off, you eventually reach a state that might be called acceptance. As long as the disease is in some semblance of medical control, you gain breathing space. Although more often than not, it feels more like holding your breath until the crisis hits.

What makes hope difficult is that the oncologist is very realistic in his appraisal. He does not sugar-coat anything. He lays out the clinical probabilities and discusses the likelihood of treatment success and side effects. Don't get me wrong. He has the best bed-side manner of any physician I have ever encountered. There is no shortage of care and compassion. My son can email him 365/24/7 with an issue and he will always respond within hours. He also does everything in his power to prepare us for everything.

Despite the doctor's best efforts, we struggle with things we were told were possibilities, even likely occurrences. Mentally we know better than to engage in blind hope, but indulge in it anyway. Then reality leaves hope on life support and you fight with everything you have for acceptance.

But it doesn’t matter. I’ve learned recently that knowing something is possible or even inevitable is meaningless when it comes to mental preparation. Anyone can lie and say they’re prepared for something, whether it’s progression in an illness, potential side effect, or even death. But knowing does not lead to acceptance. 

In some ways I know it’s a good thing. Even when we’ve been told something bad will happen, we cling on to each remaining thread of hope no matter how tattered and frail. Even the most rational refuse to accept morbidity as a guarantee and that optimism is undoubtedly necessary. 

But it also leaves us gravely unprepared for each next step. I’m finally realizing that I am definitely not prepared for anything worse. Like before, I will learn to live within my limitations. The mantra is “you’ll never be prepared for worse, so don’t bother trying”.

Faith has been a blessing in this nightmare. There are people in my congregation that seem to "know" when I need a lift. It is frankly uncanny and downright unnerving at times. Sometimes they show up out of the blue.

A few weeks ago, I was walking home and a car slowed stopped alongside me. The window rolled down. It was someone that sings in the choir. Saying she has a big personality is an understatement. She offered me a ride. I told her I was not far from home. She insisted. The ride to my house was a mere four blocks but then we chatted for an hour outside in the car. She told me her own battle with cancer and we had a very real conversation. When she drove off, I walked into the house in far better shape. It was a lift I did not know I needed until some of the weight was lifted.

That is just one in a hundred stories I could tell. Too many times to write it off as chance.

I have friends and acquaintances among the "none" crowd - religion is not their cup of tea. Some like to chide me on faith because God has not answered my prayers that my son be restored to health. I try to explain that faith is not some insurance policy against bad things happening in your life. God is not there is grant wishes and respond to my every whim. I wish that were true, but that is shallow, immature, and what separates belief from superstition. Sometimes I just give the Holy Spirit indigestion with a far less gracious response. When they look surprised, I say that there is no commandment to suffer fools gladly. Strangely, some even seem to prefer that answer.

In all the times I have prayed for my son's health, the answer has always been the same. In effect, "fear not, he is my hands." That is the greatest gift of all, but it is not the one that I want most.

Faith is about having a real relationship with the divine. In my heart of hearts, every prayer is answered.  Sometimes I know things are going to turn out well and they turn out even better than I anticipated. Sometimes I know things are not going to go as desired. Even though the worst may happen, there are many unexpected blessings that allow me to keep going and even grow in faith. All of makes no sense to people who lack the gift of faith.

On some level I am prepared for the worst, at least from the standpoint of faith. That does not mean blind optimism or even acceptance. Just the confidence of knowing that somehow, someway I will come out on the other side of whatever storm that comes, emotionally scarred and physically battered perhaps, but spiritually whole.

Spiritual economics

Then He said to them, “Beware, and be on your guard against every form of greed; for not even when one has an abundance does his life consist of his possessions.” 

And He told them a parable, saying, “The land of a rich man was very productive. And he began reasoning to himself, saying, ‘What shall I do, since I have no place to store my crops?’ Then he said, ‘This is what I will do: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years to come; take your ease, eat, drink and be merry.”’ But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your soul is required of you; and now who will own what you have prepared?’ So is the man who stores up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.”

-- Luke 12:15-21

Another small victory for generosity of spirit in sea of greed.  Joe Lueken, owner of a successful grocery store chain in Minnesota, has  decided to give his company to his employees as he approached retirement.

On Jan. 1, Lueken's Village Foods, with two supermarkets in Bemidji and another in Wahpeton, N.D., will begin transferring ownership to its approximately 400 employees through an Employee Stock Ownership Program (ESOP).

Humility and recognition of the contribution of others to the success of the business were factors in the decision.

"My employees are largely responsible for any success I've had, and they deserve to get some of the benefits of that," Lueken said earlier this week. "You can't always take. You also have to give back."

The decision to "do the right thing" was supported by his family. It strengthens the community by giving people a stake in the future of the business, not to mention sets a powerful example of what God views as success.

"The whole move revolves around people, not things or money," Jeff Lueken said. "It's about allowing people to grow with the business and send their kids to college and have a great retirement, and even to express themselves at work."

The employees say it's a wonderful gift, but Joe Lueken said he's gotten more than he gave. Holding out two palms, one above the other, he said: "To see somebody go from here [up] to here is the best feeling in the world."

Amen!

Good Samaritan

Most people, regardless of their faith tradition, are familiar with the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). In this parable, Jesus is defining what it means to love your neighbor as yourself. The contrasts drawn in the parable are pointed and powerful. On the one hand, we see two religious men ignore a man beaten and bloody in the street. One is a priest, someone revered for leading religious services, and the other is a Levite, someone expert in religious law and doctrine. They failed the test of loving others as God expects. Along comes a Samaritan who ignores traditional tribal tensions to show love for a stranger in Judea. The moral of the story is that you should love all others, even those you have been taught to distrust or dislike by your culture and religion.

 Jesus would be pleased with this New York City policeman. The officer saw a homeless man on the sidewalk with no shoes. The officer stopped to buy the man heavy socks and warm boots. His gesture of kindness was recorded by a tourist who witnessed the event and took a picture with her cellphone.



The officer was surprised by the attention he received when the tourist posted the picture on the NYPD's Facebook page. People were greatly moved by his compassion.

Foster’s photo was posted Tuesday night to the NYPD’s official Facebook page and became an instant hit. More than 420,000 users “liked” it as of Thursday evening, and more than 140,000 shared it.

The context is perfect for retelling the Good Samaritan parable in 21st century America. Ordinances have been passed across the country that criminalize the homeless for sleeping on the street. It is against the law in some places to give the homeless food or money. These ordinances often put the police in the uncomfortable position of enforcing these laws. Likewise, political, business, and even some religious leaders have been bashing the poor as worthless freeloaders in our society. Our culture is hardening its heart to the suffering of others.

Officer Larry DiPrimo could have listened to our increasingly callous culture and walked on by the homeless man shivering in the street. Instead, he behaved like the compassionate Samaritan. And his act of kindness just happened to be witnessed and publicized by a stranger to the city.

She wrote: “The officer squatted down on the ground and proceeded to put socks and the new boots on this man. The officer expected NOTHING in return and did not know I was watching.”

DePrimo said buying the boots “was something I had to do.” He tried to persuade the man to get something to eat, but he declined and left.

“When I brought out the shoes, it was just a smile from ear to ear,” he said. “It was a great moment for both of us.”

Judging from the reaction to this story, people are hungry for the gospel of love as taught by Jesus. Not the religion of ceremony, law, and doctrine, but a theology built around loving God and love others.

Walking the walk

Proselytization is often confused with evangelism. Talk is cheap. People need to see Christ in you. Let me show you an example of why it matters.

Bob Moore is a very successful businessman and the driving force behind Bob's Red Mill Natural Foods.

In 1978, he started Bob's Red Mill Natural Foods, as a small family-run business in Oregon selling stone mill-ground whole grains. The company has since grown into a multi-million dollar business that sells more than 400 whole grain products including flours, hot cereals, and organic and gluten-free products.

Bob has always put his customers and employees first. He calls his 209 employees his "second family." Two years ago, he decided to do something truly extraordinary. He gave the company to his employees.

"It's the only business decision that I could make," he said. "I don't think there's anybody worthy to run this company but the people who built it. I have employees with me right now that have been with me for 30 years. They just were committed to staying with me now and they're going to own the company."

It is a story fit for one of Jesus' parables. And Bob has taken the lessons of scripture to heart.

"There's a lot of negative stuff going into business today," he said. "It's a good old basic Bible lesson -- love of money is the root of all evil. And unfortunately, our entire philosophy today is get all the money you can and whatever way you can. It's caused many corporations to bite off more than they can chew. And it causes people to do a lot of things just for money that they feel in their hearts is not the right thing to do."

Two years have come and gone since the story of Bob giving his company to his employees first made the news. The interesting thing is that it is still touching hearts. That includes hearts in places not normally sympathetic to religion.

Here is one:

Now as an agnostic – I do not share the same religious viewpoints, but I find Mr. Moore’s example inspiring. Somehow, someway there has been this conflation between capitalism and religion that merged together to give birth to “Supply-side Jesus” that church going American evangelicals all pray to as they denounce the poor as “takers”; watching this all in real time is very perplexing. So – seeing a real life example of what I envision non-hypocritical Christianity to look like is quite humbling and Mr. Moore’s ability to lead by example is wonderful to watch.

The spectacle of Christian leaders selling politicians, greed, and militarism should perplex and disgust all that love and serve Christ. You have to wonder when people who call themselves evangelicals turn compassionate people off to Christ.

Moore's act of love also found its way to the Daily Kos, a blog portal for liberal politics. The blog post about Moore attracted a great deal of attention. Notice the title, "Compassion side Jesus and Bob's Red Mill Foods." On a site where the mere mention of religion often attracts ridicule, the reaction was uniformly positive.

The fact that this story of faith in action is still making the rounds, often popping up in the strangest of places, is an important lesson. Talking about Christ is useless, even counterproductive, unless you act in love. What was it the Apostle Paul said about love?

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Jesus commanded us to love. Anything less represents a complete failure of hermeneutics. 

She prayed for a miracle

I ran across Sunny Carney when my son's doctors first mentioned the possibility of neuroendocrine cancer. Sunny suffered from the disease and described her battles with brutal honesty. Beyond her tireless advocacy, two things stood out for me about Sunny. One was her incredible love of life, even in the face of pain and discomfort. The other was her love of God. Her faith was vibrant and echoed throughout her writings.

A little over a week ago, Sunny posted this on her blog.

Many of you who follow my blog know the happens of me physically. I will somehow keep you somewhat posted but I don't want to focus on the negative. I am asking that everyone pray for a miracle. Please pray that some new treatment comes up. I'm currently taking chemo that is really strong and making me really sick. So we need to watch me on it. The kids hate seeing me suffer but they are begging me not to stop. So we are taking things one happy day at a time. It's ok to cry as long as you wipe the tears and laugh with me too. So let's do that. Happy times will keep me here. Cry when you see me then hug me and laugh. Let's have fun. Now enough cancer talk. Enough feeling bad for me. Have fun with me and treat me like the old Sunny.

Sunny went on to tell everyone to find ways of filling the empty spaces in our hearts with love. She closed her message with "I love you all."

Sunny died a week later. Thanks to social media, news of her death spread quickly among the neuroendocrine cancer community.

Those who reject God like to take unanswered prayers for miracles as proof that faith is superstition. They often joke that God cannot (or will not) heal the blind, regenerate amputated limbs, and cure disease. Yet, even if all suffering were cease, these same people would still demand concrete evidence. Without that proof, the concept of God adds no meaning to their existence.

Having faith simply means accepting the invitation to enter into a relationship with God. It does not mean snapping your fingers and having every wish and whim granted. The temptation to believe God is the cosmic equivalent of Santa Claus is considerable. That temptation brings out the wolves in sheep's clothing. Many so-called religious leaders do promise health and prosperity if your faith is strong enough. The test of that faith is usually giving them money and following their commands. If you do not receive your heart's desire, you only have the weakness of your faith to blame.

Sunny Carney's walk of faith gave her the strength to comfort others even as she suffered. Her love for God and others did not waver in the face of life's storms. As she put it, "everyone has some kind of cancer in their life." For some, that cancer is abnormal cell growth or other diseases in their body. Others struggle with poverty or other social injustices as their cancer. For too many in America, it is lust for power, money, and other trappings of materialism.

Yes, Sunny asked that we pray for a miracle. Rather than a new treatment, the answer to those prayers seems to be an end to her suffering. Perhaps the real miracle is all the people who learned to count each day as a blessing because of Sunny, who now draw strength from her courage. Cancer never had the power to shake her faith or diminish her love.

I pray for God's love to comfort Sunny's family and friends as they mourn the loss of her physical presence. I also give thanks for her courageous walk of faith.

Do you believe in angels?

Thanks to artistic depictions, we tend to think of angels as these otherworldly winged creatures that fill the heavens with song and slay the evil with flaming swords. Yet I have always viewed the idea of angels as more of a quaint adjunct to my faith rather something real and tangible. I may have to rethink that position.

On Monday, a member of my son's neuroendocrine cancer support group died. Karen lost her battle with cancer after 7 years of fighting it with everything she had. On some level, she became another statistic in a disease with a 10 year survival rate of only 30%. While statistically average in her struggle to survive, she was extraordinary in how she lived with the disease.

After diagnosis, Karen took it upon herself to reach out to others with the disease, offering encouragement, love, information, and energy. She became, for lack of a better word, a tireless advocate for those afflicted with the disease and the oncologists struggling to improve diagnosis and treatment. None of that description really does her justice.

During the memorial service yesterday, her husband described the countless hours she spent answering emails, talking on the phone, answering messages posted on internet boards, and networking with doctors and fellow patients. Even when she felt terrible, she did not waste time feeling sorry for herself. There were jokes and anecdotes to tell. Her shoulder and her ear were always available to whoever needed them. One oncologist joked that she knew more about the disease than he did. What she did understand better than any of the oncologists was what it meant to fight the disease as a patient and her mission was make sure other patients had as much ammunition as possible.

Karen lost her fight with cancer during what should have been uneventful surgery to correct a complication of the disease. When news of her death spread across the patient support boards, Facebook, email, and telephone, hundreds of tributes from fellow patients poured in from across the globe.

The subject of religion never come in our interactions with Karen. She was focused on getting my son information about how to manage symptoms and treatment side effects. I learned she was a devout Jew (and child of a Holocaust survivor) during the memorial service. It was also during the memorial service that the subject of angels came up. Her rabbi said the following:

"In the Jewish tradition, angels are not mystical beings with wings. They are God's messengers and appear in human form. They walk among us and tell us what we need to hear. I firmly believe that Karen was an angel."

Looking around at the overflowing crowd at her memorial service, filled with people from her family, congregation, and the neuroendocrine cancer community, it is hard to argue with that depiction.

After the service in the chapel, the crowd walked with her casket to the grave site. As we walked, clouds started to fill the sky. As we recited the mourner's prayer (kaddish), it started to rain. The raindrops were huge and the wind swirled leaves around us. Then the sun broke through the clouds as we each took turns throwing three shovels of dirt into her grave. Maybe it was all a coincidence, but it did not feel like it. It felt like angels joined the mourner's prayer and the sun sparkled in our tears as we said our final good-byes to her body.

I don't know what angels are, but Karen turned her disease into a blessing for others, including my son. For that I am thankful.

Her husband closed his tribute to the love of his life with this:

"Go walk with the angels, Karen. Your work here is finished."

Amen.

Update: After I posted this, I came across a tribute to Karen from another person fighting neuroendocrine cancer. It is consistent with the possibility that Karen was indeed an angel.

A Benevolent Force provided three glorious days without pain so Karen could enjoy her birthday party. It had been postponed because of her abdominal pain but last month, with 64 friends and relatives, a DJ, music and a fresh-waxed dance floor Karen and Ken wowed the crowd by performing the stationary Cha-Cha-Cha. Everyone cheered in amazement and begged for lessons on how to do the dance.

There are many, many more things Karen would want you to know. She was a thoroughly good person. She knew how to have fun yet she championed many causes: pro-woman; pro-people of color; pro-self advocacy. Karen was proud to be descended from Holocaust survivors and of her Jewish heritage. If she liked you, she never held back. You knew you were liked. She liked just about everyone except those few doctors who are condescending or aloof.

Saying Good-bye

Friends and family gathered at a small cemetery chapel today (Oct. 16, 2012) for a traditional service. Then the Rabbi walked with Karen and the group to her graveside where, in the Jewish tradition, each person tossed a bit of earth down on her coffin. Of course, Karen was not there. A little bit of her sweet soul was settling into every heart.

Let's see. Everyone described Karen as a person that knew how to love. She gave hope and comfort to many people suffering from a rare and difficult to treat form of cancer. God gave her a last hurrah and called her home surrounded by loved ones. She was carried to her final resting place by a crowd of people touched by her presence. Her absence will be felt long after her death.

I don't know what an angel is, but Karen could probably pass for one. She will be missed.

Amazing walk of faith

Timothy Kurek is one courageous young man. A devout Christian, he decided to spend a year living as a gay man to experience first hand the discrimination and hatred directed against homosexuals in our society. He has written a book about his experiences ("The Cross in the Closet"). It should be required reading for all of us, especially those that follow Christ.


Brother Tim was raised as a Christian and clearly has taken his walk with Christ seriously. As he put it, Christ was the ultimate example of empathy. Empathy means that you can feel the pain and suffering of others. It moves you to act in ways that show the love of God for others.

The trouble is that many Christians are taught not to love others as Christ taught. That is particularly true when it comes to the issue of homosexuality. Growing up in Tennessee, Tim was not only taught that homosexuality was a sin but that it was an abomination, the ultimate sin.

"You learned to be very afraid of God," said Kurek. According to the preachings of his church, "The loving thing to do is to tell my friend who is gay, 'Hey, listen, you are an abomination and you need to repent to go to heaven.' I absolutely believed in that lock, stock and barrel."

Christians are being taught to hate. It is dressed up as loving the sinner and hating the sin, but it replaces God's love and grace with hatred. We are all sinners. We have all fallen short of the perfection that Jesus proved was possible. However, instead of loving others and leaving judgment to God, there has been a deliberate attempt to create outcasts from the children of God. We are taught to hate homosexuals. We are taught to hate people of other religions, especially Muslims. We are taught to hate atheists. We are even taught to hate people based on political ideation.

As Christians, we know John 3:16 by heart. It says that God so loved the world (all of humanity). Too many of us seem to think that it says that God so loved me and those that think, act, and believe like me. Well, God is much freer with his love than that. All are loved and encouraged to open their hearts to God.

Kurek's eyes started to open when a woman he was friends with confided in him that she was a lesbian and how terribly she had been treated by family and friends. His first reaction was to treat her as badly as the others in her life had done. The Holy Spirit kept pushing him to think and feel the empathy that Jesus practiced and taught.

He decided to do something extraordinary. He decided to live as a gay man for year and see life through the eyes of his friend. Only a handful of people knew the truth. It was a remarkable journey.

But one day, sitting in a café in a part of Nashville where the gay bars and Christian hang-outs intersect, Kurek had his first confrontation. While reading a gay-themed book, he became aware of the "snickers and sneers."

"A guy came up to me when he saw the cover and said, 'You know that is fundamentally false -- you can't be gay and Christian,'" said Kurek, who responded, "I am gay and I love God."

Tim's friends stopped calling. His mother wrote in her journal that she would rather have cancer than a gay son. Their reaction shows how people of faith are being trained to be unloving towards others, even those that they have known and loved for many years.

When the year was up, Tim told his family and friends about his little experiment. For many, including his mother, it was eye-opening. The experience had changed him and all those around him. Their appreciation of the empathy of Christ had grown by leaps and bounds. It was a mustard seed of love that grew large and powerful.

Kurek says his book stays away from theology. That is not true. Theology is our understanding of God. His book says a great deal about God, particularly the love and grace freely given to all of us. It is a theology that is deep and true.

She said her name was Gloria

Our spiritual journey is full of surprises. As followers of Christ, our challenge is to learn and grow from each twist and turn. A woman crossed my path last Saturday. She taught me what it really means to be thankful for our blessings. 

The Saturday morning distribution at the local food bank is usually hectic. Because about 50 more people showed up than usual last Saturday, it was particularly hectic. I was handling meat distribution, the lines were long, and I was more focused on speed and efficiency than I should have been. And then I meet Gloria.

One of the local grocery stores had a given us a bunch of individually wrapped soup bones. After each person had made their selections, I asked if they would be interested in getting a soup bone or two. Usually the response was a polite yes or no thank you. 

Gloria followed a different script. When I mentioned the soup bones, her face lit up. 

"I love soup bones. Soup is my favorite comfort food and nothing beats making it from scratch."

I smiled and handed her the bags. Our eyes meet and I was blown away by her smile and the light in her eyes.

"This is my first time here and I feel so blessed. Everyone is so friendly. There are so many choices and so many things I really like. My name is Gloria, by the way."

As she was walking away, she looked at me and said, "God is great. Thank you."

Gloria's infectious joy and gratitude stuck with me the rest of that crazy morning. The sad truth is I have encountered that thankful attitude more among the clients at the food bank than I have among friends and family. It raises the obvious question of why. Why aren't we all more like Gloria? Perhaps the more you have, the less you appreciate anything. Even when you "know" how blessed you are, it is seductively easy to take it all for granted. 

Beyond forgetting to count our blessings, abundance also breeds waste. Across the world, about one third of the food produced winds up in the trash. America is one of the world leaders in waste. A recent study found that food waste in America tops out at 40%. It is obscene. The study estimates that we waste about $1.49 worth of food per person per day in America, with two-thirds of that coming from consumers rather than producers. Across the world, nearly 2 billion people survive on $1.49 a day or less for food.

On a per capita basis in 2008, the food lost from the food supply at the consumer level is equivalent to 124 kg of food per year at an estimated retail price of $390/year at retail prices or .03 kg of food per day valued at $1.07/day. This is roughly 10% of the average amount spent on food per capita in 2008. In 2008, three food groups were responsible for 78% of the total value of food loss at the consumer level, per capita. These groups are meat, poultry and fish ($197/year), vegetables ($61/year), and dairy products ($48/year). Therefore, these food groups might be potential areas to target when educating consumers about food loss.

It is a question of mindfulness. If we truly love God, then our heart should be overflowing with gratitude for our many blessings. That means we should think and act a lot more like Gloria. Appreciating our bounty also requires that we pay attention to what we waste and find ways of reducing it.

One line from the parable of the faithful servant in Luke 12 stands out:

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

Thank you, Gloria, for a joyful dose of mindfulness. 

She walked the true walk

The body of Christ has lost a sister of great beauty. Her name was Mary Rose McGeady, the Catholic nun responsible for reviving and growing the largest ministry for homeless youth in our country. She ran Covenant House, which provides shelter, food, and social services for homeless teens across North America. Sister McGeady took over Covenant House after the priest that founded the organization was forced to resign over questions of sexual and financial shenanigans. Donations were evaporating and services were being cut. Here is part of the organization's tribute to her:

In an interview with Catholic New York when she announced her retirement in 2002, Sister Mary Rose said that before took on the president’s job at Covenant House, she prayed.

“I told the Lord if he wanted to save this place, he’d have to do it and he’s done it,” she said.

Kevin Ryan, the current head of Covenant House, who was among those present at her bedside when she died, called Sister Mary Rose "the Mother Teresa of street children" and "a holy tornado of determination and compassion."

"She had a huge soft spot for kids, but she was no one's fool," Ryan said. "Come hell or high water, she was determined to clean up Covenant House. From ashes, really, she pulled Covenant House forward and saved hundreds of thousands of kids."

During her tenure, Covenant House expanded its reach dramatically, with new crisis shelters, street outreach and long-term residential programs for homeless youth in Canada, the United States and Nicaragua. Covenant House now reaches more than 57,000 children and youth in six countries each year.

A holy tornado of determination and compassion. That is what Jesus called all of his followers to become in their walk of faith. And even if we don't run a large organization serving those in great need, we should be known for our integrity and heart for others.

There was never any question of her service of God and others. She lead by example in the fire of her love for others.

As you look over the body of Christ, ask yourself a simple question. Is Sister Mary Rose the rule or the exception when it comes to Christian leaders in America? Since her life was worthy of remembrance by the New York Times, it safe to say her walk of faith stands out.

Many people in America call themselves "evangelical" Christians. For many that means talking about their belief in Christ. Big deal. Sister Mary Rose was a true evangelist for the love of God. She tempted people to believe in Christ by her love for the unloved, neglected, and abused. Her love will be missed. Her walk of faith was a blessing for others.

Strange attack on the shepherd of a poor flock

Migrant workers in Mexico have a guardian angel. His name is Alejandro Solalinde. Rev. Solalinde runs a shelter for migrant workers, who have to run a deadly gauntlet of drug gangs and corrupt police. He has achieved considerable notoriety for his willingness to call out publicly the drug lords and corrupt cops.

The Rev. Alejandro Solalinde has become well known in Mexico after enduring death threats for publicly denouncing drug gangs and police who rob and kidnap Central American migrants crossing Mexico to reach the United States.

Solalinde is disobeying corrupt authorities and powerfully demonstrating the love of God for marginalized people. You might think he would be a hero in the Catholic Church. He is engaged in nonviolent struggle against violent people to protect poor farm workers that have to risk their lives to earn a living. He is even willing to risk his own life to show the strength of God's love. Given the murderous rampage by the drug cartels, death threats are promises rather than idle threats.

But Solalinde's diocese said he is simply being asked to start operating within the normal parish structure, and run his migrant shelter more like a church ministry and less like a lone activist's non-governmental organization.

Thou shall not offend the powerful. Thou shall not risk retaliation against the people and property of the Church. Thou shall not get involved in political controversies (unless you are a bishop and the controversy involves sex rather than violence). Thou shall not attract too much attention.

He also said the bishop had said he was grabbing too much attention; Solalinde has practically become the public face of Mexico's migrant protection movement.

Interesting doctrine. Not Christ-like, but interesting none the less.

The diocese is reassigning Solalinde to parish ministry. He is being given a new flock, kept out of the public eye, and under tight control by the bishop.

"I know how to fight against the drug cartels, and corrupt officials and police, I know how to fight all of them, but I can't fight the church," Solalinde said. "If the church asks me to do this, the church is going to achieve what all the other forces haven't, which is to get me to leave, to leave the flock defenseless so they do what they want with them."

The question becomes who do we serve. Are we guided by the Holy Spirit or religious bureaucracy? Do we speak truth to power or wait for religious authorities to decide which powers to follow without question?

The bishop argues that Solalinde serves the diocese and can only continue to serve migrant workers if he does it quietly, within the confines of the parish facilities, and also handles a mountain of administrative tasks.

It is interesting that liberation theology was deemed unfit because it advocated Marxism, political solutions to social justice, and violence against oppressive governments. Solalinde is not promoting Marxism, political ideology, or violence against anyone. He was only guilty of challenging the corrupt authority and making the Church a potential target of retribution. Maybe we should call that obedient theology. Obedience to religious authorities is the same as obedience to God according to this theology.

Obedient theology sounds like cowering to authority in the name of Christ. The Holy Spirit does not fraternize with the riffraff. The chain of command is Christ to the Holy Spirit to specially anointed church leaders then down to pastors, then lay leaders, and finally the washed and chosen. Disobedience to church authority will get you publicly rebuked and forced to complete re-education in the fine points of orthodox doctrine.

Jesus said obey God and did not obey the religious authorities of His day. He also spent his time among the marginalized. Obedient theology did not come from the Christ. It came from men with an inflated sense of their own importance in the eyes of God.

The appeal of ritual

It is hard to deny the appeal of rituals. They are an integral part of worship practices of many religions. The longer we participate in a particular set of rituals, the more comfort and strength we seem to derive from them. Athletes often develop personal rituals before a big game that they believe enhances their performance while breaking the ritual risks disaster on the field.

It turns out that our response to rituals is very much a part of our cognitive plumbing, so to speak. A series of studies by University of Texas psychologists delve into how we perceive rituals.

Rituals pose a cognitive paradox: although widely used to treat problems, rituals are causally opaque (i.e., they lack a causal explanation for their effects). How is the efficacy of ritual action evaluated in the absence of causal information? To examine this question using ecologically valid content, three studies (N = 162) were conducted in Brazil, a cultural context in which rituals called simpatias are used to treat a great variety of problems ranging from asthma to infidelity. Using content from existing simpatias, experimental simpatias were designed to manipulate the kinds of information that influences perceptions of efficacy. A fourth study (N = 68) with identical stimuli was conducted with a US sample to assess the generalizability of the findings across two different cultural contexts. The results provide evidence that information reflecting intuitive causal principles (i.e., repetition of procedures, number of procedural steps) and transcendental influence (i.e., presence of religious icons) affects how people evaluate ritual efficacy.

What is intriguing about this research is that it shows a clear cognitive bias for rituals that have many steps and are repeated regularly over a long period of time. The researchers also found that rituals performed in a religious context with icons enhance feelings of meaning and efficacy.

I am sure our agnostic or atheist friends will gladly lump all ritualist practices together as superstitious behavior. However, these rituals serve far more complex purposes than some false sense of controlling the world. It is more about meaning, but discussing liturgy with people antagonistic to faith is difficult, to say the very least.

This study gives me a better appreciation of why people have such strong feelings of affinity for the liturgical practices they have grown up with or practiced for many years. Any change in the rituals is likely to produce discomfort and even disorientation, particularly for complex practices repeated frequently over time.

The importance of rituals to religious observance makes sense in light of the research. Since the presence of God defies our five senses, rituals performed in the context of icons helps foster a sense of personal connection to the sacred. Sharing rituals with others also creates a bond and sense of community.

One problem with liturgical rituals is that we are prone to feel that ours are superior to those practiced by others. The impulse is understandable. If we find something meaningful and emotionally gratifying, then people who do not follow the exact same practices must be doing it incorrectly. Even if our core beliefs are essentially the same, the temptation to engage in tribal identification based on practice is considerable.

The scriptures provide potent warnings about the relative importance of ritual. Rituals are accorded much less value than treatment of others and mindfulness of God in Hosea 6:6:

For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.

Jesus picks up those same themes. He rebukes the Pharisees for questioning why He is socializing with outcasts in Matthew 9:13:

But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

Jesus uses the same words to rebuke the Pharisees for condemning the disciples for picking grain on the Sabbath in Matthew 12:1-7. And in response to religious teacher that asks Jesus about the most important commandments in Mark 12:28-33, He closes with a contrast with ritual.

To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices."

Christ did not dismiss rituals and there is no denying the psychological rewards that can come from their practice. The moral of the story, however, is that it is our common bond in Christ that carries more weight than any differences in our liturgy and practice. Rituals are good, but loving God and each other are far more important.

When faith and science mix

Probably because some have referred to it as the "God Particle," there has been a fair amount of clucking over the discovery of a subatomic particle thought to be the elusive Higgs boson. Sadly, they missed a chance for awe and wonder.

Brother Guy Consolmagno, a Vatican astronomer, put the discovery of the Higgs boson into proper perspective. Beyond revolutionizing theoretical physics, it sheds light on the rich tapestry of the natural world.

"It indicates that reality is deeper and more rich and strange than our everyday life."

On the 'faith' of scientists:

"No one would have built this enormous experiment, tapping the time and talents of thousands of scientists around the world, without faith they would find something,"

On finding God at work in science:

"My belief in God gives me the courage to look at the physical universe and to expect to find order and beauty. It's my faith that inspires me to do science."

Mature faith is a thing of beauty.