Just when I thought I have seen everything

. . .  along comes jobless, drunk wasps: Paul Bates of Cleankill Environmental Services described the plague of hooligan wasps this way:

"Worker wasps have finished their life's work as queen wasps have stopped laying and don't need food bringing to them."  

"This means that the workers are free to go out and enjoy themselves which includes stealing meat on the barbecue - there will also be drunk wasps around who have been feasting on fermented fruit and will be extra bold."

Kind of odd that a guy that runs a pesticide company is picked as the only expert. It almost seems like an advertisement instead of a story with some journalistic value.

The British Red Cross has also gotten into the act, although they seem to think it is a story parody.

“It’s hilarious that, now worker wasps have finished their life’s work, all they are doing now is feasting on fermented fruit and getting ‘drunk’. The danger for humans of course is that they may get a bit bold and attack us while we are out having a barbeque in the garden, sun bathing in the park or innocently going our merry way,” said Joe Mulligan, British Red Cross head of first aid.

Any truth to the story that billions of drunk and disorderly wasps are harassing the Brits? Nope. No biblical plague in progress.

"First – wasps never swarm. What people are referring to is large numbers. But if you looked at 30-year picture, this year is on a par with average. It seems like a hell of a lot of wasps because the last two or three years have been terribly wet. Wasps don't like wet weather because they can't hunt and there is high queen mortality if there is a lot of rain in May. They are more numerous this year than last – but I don't think numbers have been particularly high."

I find it odd that an overblown threat from insects also provides an opportunity to accuse the unemployed and retired of being drunk and dangerous. These poor wasps. Once they lose their usefulness to the royal family, they have nothing to do but drink fermented fruit and get in bar fights. They are anthropomorphized to the point that you see these no-good humanoid wasps hanging out on street corners and passing around a liquor bottle in a paper bag. And see what happens when these low wage worker wasps lose their jobs? They become derelicts and a menace to productive humans.

Did you hear about the rich asps that have nothing to do but wait for their summons to sink their fangs into the pale skin of the human queen? I heard these well-healed snakes often get bored waiting and love to bite commoners for sport. Watch your back.